Playtime with Mummy

An update from me…finally!

Firstly, I must apologise for not posting on here more regularly. I have been thinking for months (literally!) that I must write a blog post and it has taken until now for me to sit at the computer and get writing. Nathan is asleep and Rich has gone out to do our food shopping.

So, what have I been up to in Nottingham? I think the easiest way to share this with you is to explain what a typical week looks like for me.

Monday: a free day for visiting friends or receiving visitors. I tutor a year 8 boy for one hour in the evening (general study skills, English and some maths).

Tuesday: Last term I attended a baby group in the morning which was great. At the moment, for 5 weeks, I am attending the ‘Introduction to Pastoral Care’ module which Rich is also studying. As the wife of an ordinand I can attend lectures for free and I’m really enjoying it. It is certainly challenging and I’m very glad I don’t have to write an essay at the end of it! Whilst I am in lectures (9am – 1pm) Nathan goes to the onsite nursery ‘Little Peaches’ where he is looked after by a great team. In the evening I go to ‘Focus’, the group for spouses of students. I really enjoy this group as somewhere to meet with others in similar situations, to gain support, advice and teaching, as well as having fun. We’ve had quizzes, prayer stations, cinema, crafts, talks from visiting speakers and testimonies.

Wednesday: This day is formation/spirituality day at college where activities are centered around helping us to become more like Jesus. I attend a spirituality lecture in the morning, along with a few other spouses and all the students, followed by college quiet hour, which is a great opportunity for me to spend time with God.

Thursday: This is another day for meeting up with family and friends although if I’m free, I go to a baby and toddler group at the church we’ve been attending since we arrived in Nottingham. This is somewhere that I meet people outside of our college community which keeps my feet on the ground! I’ve met a few mums there that I now chat with regularly, however, most of my time at the moment is spent holding Nathan’s hands whilst he walks around the hall!

Friday: In the morning I attend one of the three Focus Bible study groups for weekly Bible study. This is a great place to delve deeper into God’s word and to share with one another. Last term we looked at little books in the New Testament, all of which I don’t think I’d read in full before. This term we are looking at the book of Job for 5 weeks, and then doing 5 weeks with a Lent theme. I tend to fill my afternoon with our food shop, but this is open to change and I’m very grateful to Rich that he’s done it tonight!

Saturday: A chance for a rest?! Time to see friends and family. Rich is trying not to work on a Saturday so we can spend the day together. I think we have something happening every Saturday from now until the end of February – we never have done ‘not busy’ very well!! It’s great to be able to catch up with friends and spend time together.

Sunday: We’ve been attending Christ Church in Chilwell since we arrived in Nottingham and I really enjoy it there. Nathan now goes into creche during the service so I’m able to concentrate better on the sermon. For 6 weeks this term, I’m attending on my own as Rich is on hospital placement (He’s out of the house from 8.30am – 1.30pm). Once his hospital placement has finished, I think we’ll have one week together at Christ Church before he starts his major church placement. This if from 23rd Feb to Christmas – I’m sure Rich will tell you more at some point. I will be going with Rich to our placement church. I will miss Christ Church and will probably go back and visit on occasion.

So now you know what my week looks like in general! Are you glad I finally wrote a post?!

A quick update on Nathan

Nathan is 11 months old tomorrow (25th)! I can’t believe my baby is nearly 1! He is crawling very quickly but mainly loves to be on his feet. When you hold his hands, he walks very quickly, but refuses to walk if you only hold one hand – he still needs to work on his balance. I spend a lot of time doing laps of the downstairs of our house with him! He is interested in everything, particularly anything he shouldn’t have. Tonight he discovered the kitchen cupboards for the first time. A favourite activity of his is to put his head inside the washing machine and hit the drum – he likes anything that makes a noise (well, we were hoping he’d be a drummer!).

Last weekend we bought him his first pair of shoes, and a new car seat which should last him until he’s about 4 years old.

I want to take him swimming, which is something I haven’t got around to organising yet.

He’s certainly keeping us on our toes!

Let me know if you think I’ve missed anything, or there’s something you’d like to know more about.

Pastoral care and listening

After a lovely Christmas holiday, it’s back to college.  My year group are still waiting for the results of our second and third essays, although they are due imminently.  In the meantime, I’ve submitted a further two for marking (so I’m in the strange position of having submitted five and only receiving one bit of feedback – let’s hope the first mark wasn’t a fluke!).

However, we’re also starting two new modules this week.  The first, “Introduction to Pastoral Care”, actually began on Sunday with the first day of our hospital placement.  For the first six Sundays of January, I will be worshiping in the chapel of Queen’s Medical Centre, Nottingham, alongside patients, fellow students, regular chaplaincy volunteers  and the hospital chaplains.  After the service, I’ll be visiting patients on the wards, talking and, more importantly, listening to them.

Nick Ladd

Listening  formed a large part of the accompanying lecture and seminar sessions today, guided by our module leader, Reverend Nick Ladd.  It also appeared in our preparatory reading, which included a chapter from “A Heart to Listen” by Michael Mitton.  I’d like to share with you a few words of his that really caught my attention:

“More and more I am coming to the conviction that the best solution to our problems may be formed within our own souls.  Other people may suggest solutions, or parts of the solution, through the advice they offer, but these won’t be tailor-made for me.  Only I can provide a tailor-made solution.  But – and this is the important part – I find it very difficult to find my own solution without the help of a listener.  It is as if I have to journey to a deeper part of myself, and to embark on that journey I need company.  In this way, the listening friend is not so much giving me a solution as giving me the companionship I need to venture in and discover the solution for myself.”

… and a few more…

“Jesus models for us the important principle that if we are to share the good news, we must first be prepared to listen to the bad news.  As [Dietrich] Bonhoeffer wrote, we need to learn to listen with the ears of God before we speak the word of God.  Very often, people can’t hear the good news until they have had a chance to tell their story.  The concluding part of this process is that being well listened to affects these disciples’ hearts.  They have been able to express what is on their hearts; they have heard what is inside themselves.  Now they can truly hear the word of God, and the word is so relevant to them, and such good news that their hearts catch fire.
It was Henri Nouwen who said that listening is the highest form of hospitality.  It is not insignificant that the Emmaus episode ends with a story of hospitality and Jesus breaking bread (Luke 24:30).  When we offer good-quality listening to someone, it is like saying, ‘Come in; settle down.  Here is a safe place to tell your story.’ … At any moment in the day we can offer such hospitality, and when we do we are immediately opening a door of healing for the other person, and the God-inspired therapies of community life start to take effect.  Listening is indeed a precious gift for a wounded world of scattered people.”

Things we have learned

Following the completion of my first term at St John’s, I thought I’d share with you a few of the things that we’ve learned since moving to Nottingham.  As it’s nearly Christmas, I most of them are fairly light-hearted.

Things we have learned from our first term at St John’s:

1. There’s nothing quite like writing a theology essay.

2. Getting to read a whole theology book just doesn’t happen while you’re writing an essay (unless it’s a Grove booklet).  If you’re lucky/unlucky, you might get to read a whole chapter.

3. Student common rooms are a great place for your child to crawl around (and generate enormous amounts of smiles).

4. Computers in the library at St John’s sound like the Starship Enterprise.

5. Santa’s reindeer can get punctures.

6. 1:10pm is time to say Grace and then listen to notices.  There are ALWAYS notices.

7. Living in community is both wonderful and challenging.

8. I can reflect quietly for a maximum of 6 minutes before I lose focus or go crazy (up from 3 minutes at the start of term).

9. Theological college could be marketed as a diet plan (but only if you have Crohn’s disease).

10. ‘Formation’ is NOT a swear word, but it sometimes feels like it should be.

11. A mug of tea and a game of pool can solve many problems.

12. If you fall asleep in the common room, someone is likely to take a photo of you and post it on Facebook.

13. Referencing your sources is a dark art.

14. You are allowed to completely ignore people during Quiet Hour.

15. Church hopping IS a spectator sport… but the ones doing the spectating are the competitors.

16. The red tie mic produces more feedback than the blue and yellow ones. (Ouch, my ears!).

17. I don’t miss dentistry at all (I miss one or two people though).

18. Pretty much everything you do can be explained by saying “I am an introvert” or “I am an extrovert”.

19. I look younger with contact lenses and older with a beard.

20. Looking younger than my age means that people forget I have life experience and ability.

21. Just because I AM able to do something, it doesn’t mean that I should (yes, I know I knew that before, but a stark reminder is much like learning again).

22. There are some seriously intelligent ordinands out there.

23. There are some seriously funny ordinands out there.

24. St John’s students can put on a great Christmas Social.

25. This time next year, I’ll probably know where my curacy will be.

Learning about the Old Testament is “fabulous”

Revd Dr David Firth

My first term at St John’s ended yesterday with me curled up at home after being quite ill the day before.  A bit of a damp squib really.  Which is a shame, because (on the whole) I have loved being at theological college.

So far, my favourite module has been ‘Old Testament Law and Histories’, where we’ve done a whistlestop tour of the first sixteen books of the Bible (minus Ruth, who I am assured, will appear in another module later in my studies).  422 chapters in five mornings of lectures!  (plus reading time, of course).  Honestly, I could spend all year on the Old Testament – it continues to grab my attention more and more each time I read it or read about it.  No small part of that is down to our lecturer, Revd Dr David Firth.  David is a world expert (possibly the world expert) on the books of 1 & 2 Samuel, and his knowledge of the Bible is Encyclopaedic.  But with that knowledge comes passion, enthusiasm and a great sense of humour.

Being taught by David is a real blessing, but is also terrifying, because he will be assessing one of the two essays I have to write over the Christmas period.  Fortunately, to cheer me up and improve my Biblical knowledge, my friend Charlotte has introduced me to the wonders of the Fabulous Bentley Brothers.  If you’ve been watching “The Bible” on Channel 5 recently (see my earlier blog post), you may have noticed that it is sponsored by “What’s in the Bible?”, a video series for children, developed by the creator of VeggieTales.  Well, two of the people you might meet in this video series are the aforementioned Bros. Bentley… and they make learning about the Old Testament even more fabulous!  Plus, it’s about my level of learning ability, after a term of stuffing Biblical knowledge into my head!  Of their offerings that I’ve heard so far, the one below is my favourite.  Enjoy…!
(If you have problems viewing this video, visit YouTube and type in “fabulous Bentley Brothers 2 Samuel”)

Who we are

If you’re wondering why we chose St John’s, here’s a little taster video for you. This video was produced before I got here, but I’m now in community with the people you see in it. They are an amazing bunch of Godly people, who inspire me every day.
It would be fair to say that they’ve made the college look as pretty as they can (it certainly doesn’t look quite so beautiful on a miserable November day) but that doesn’t stop me from agreeing with these guys about how much it makes a difference to be here.
Please can I ask you to take the time to pray for St John’s College – for the lecturers who are so generous with their time and enthusiasm, for the support staff who keep the place ticking over, for the students who are following God’s call to be here and for all who are connected in even the smallest way, to make St John’s the community it is.

An ‘incarnational’ jungle gym

Our “Church and Ministry” module this term has including something which goes by the wonderful title of ‘church hopping’.  We’ve been asked to visit a selection of different churches, including those of other denominations and of traditions different from our own, sharing in their Sunday morning worship.  As we visited, we had a whole raft of questions to answer, from “who was involved in leading?” and “what styles of music were used?” to “how might a non-Christian feel as a first-time visitor?”.  These questions have fed back into seminars with some interesting discussions on Friday mornings.

This morning, I visited St Saviour’s Church in the Meadows.  It’s the first Anglican church I’ve visited during the process.  I had been planning to visit a well-known city centre church instead, but was inspired to change my mind when I heard someone else talking about St Saviour’s during our most recent seminar.  And I’m so glad I did.

I don’t want to offend anybody, but I think it would be fair to say that the Meadows is not among the richest and most desirable places to live in Nottingham.  The church was built in 1863 but, from the outside, it looks totally out of character with the rest of the area, almost like it has been dropped in by a massive airlift.  And yet, this church WORKS for the community in which it is based.

Another visit during my church hopping was to Trent Vineyard.  Vineyard churches work on an attractional model – they welcome people from all over the city to their venue which (in Nottingham’s case) is built on an industrial estate.  I’m not criticising – I think Trent Vineyard does some wonderful work in the city.  But, as my friend Tim says, St Saviour’s is a brilliant example of incarnational church.  In the same way that Jesus came to earth in human form, lived among us and identified with us (the incarnation), this church has rooted itself in the local community and recognised its calling to the people around.  Incarnational church isn’t something that all Christians agree with (some feel that it causes us to compromise our faith because you’re so busy reaching out that you’re not looking up to God), but I was mightily impressed and genuinely moved by what I saw today.

Best use of a church building ever?

The first thing you see as you walk in through the door is a massive (and I mean MASSIVE) soft play area, filling the back half of the church.  Why?  Because it recognises a need within the local area for a safe place for children to play.  David, the vicar, told me that two non-Christians had separately walked into the church and said “why don’t you put a soft play area in here?” and that there had been three separate prophetic messages on the subject from within the church too.

And yet there was much more that impressed me.  In his sermon today, David said he’d heard someone ask “When people miss church, do they miss church?”, a quote which suggests that we should make Sunday morning worship so attractive that people really miss it when they don’t attend, that people should want to come in to the building.  So with the numbers present for worship this morning being only about 40 people, you could argue that St Saviour’s was failing miserably… but what is church?  David rightly reminded us that a church is made of the people (if you wanted to be posh, you could talk about a communion of people or even use the Greek word koinonia… but David didn’t!) and it exists whenever and wherever they meet.  This church has groups, which it calls Missional Communities, meeting during the week and there are people who meet with God and each other during their daily lives.  So although Sunday morning worship is nice “and we have a bit of fun doing it”, it is not the main focus of the week at St Saviour’s.  Working with people outside the building is far more important in this location than staying inside.  I’m sure that would really grate for some people, but not for me.

For those who worry that God is being neglected, fear not.  David spoke of the way that the members of the church are encouraged to move in three directions:

• OUT – towards the community, serving and supporting;
• IN – sharing with and discipling one another;
• UP – worshipping and developing our relationship with God.

The IN and UP parts of the triangle are not just tacked on.  This is a church which really is trying to celebrate 
God’s
 goodness and 
worship 
Him
 in 
order
 to 
be 
 transformed.

So when I filled in my answers to a whole raft of questions this morning and I noted that the service had broken a shedload of rules that the Church of England has about how we are to worship, I understood why.  I understood that this is a church which is more concerned with relationship than rules and that values presence over principles.  So I thank God for this church community and all who are part of it.  If I can one day be vicar of a church which has half the presence in its local community as St Saviour’s, I’ll be thrilled and delighted.

Reasons to be thankful

I’ve now completed my first week at St John’s, but that’s not the biggest news of the last few days.  On Friday, we sold our house!

We moved to Finchfield in 2009 with every intention that it would be our home for the rest of our lives.  Of course, we’d forgotten that God has a sense of humour.  So, even when I first gave in to the possibility that God might be calling me to ordained ministry, I was thinking it could be a part-time thing, allowing us to remain there.  But God (and David, my DDO) had other ideas, so we had to make alternative arrangements.  Many people have asked us why we couldn’t keep it and rent it out – the simple answer is that the rent wouldn’t cover the mortgage.  As such, we had no choice but to put it on the market.  I must admit that I was worried about the reported lack of life in the housing market and had started making arrangements for a bridging loan through the Diocese, but Jenny was confident – “If God wants us to move to Nottingham, he’ll make this happen.”  I should listen to my wife more, because (after a slightly nervous wait), we exchanged contracts and completed the sale of our house on Friday.

The Finchfield house has been a place of much joy and happiness for us, so I was surprised and delighted to hear Jenny say that she didn’t miss living there after only a couple of weeks here in Nottingham.  We’ve accepted God’s call on our lives and we know that means we’ll be moving around from house to house over the years.  I’m told there are some very lovely vicarages out there!  Of course, when I retire, we’ll still need somewhere to live, so we’re probably going to buy a much smaller property that we can rent out (possibly to other theology students round here), thus allowing us to remain on the housing ladder.  No rush on that score, though.

God has been very good to us – the sale has progressed (relatively) smoothly, so we’ve said a prayer of thanks or two (or three, or four!)

Other reasons to be thankful include the following:

• a flare-up of my Crohn’s disease (which kicked in earlier this week) has only lasted a few days;
• we’ve made some fantastic friends;
• Nathan can sit up by himself for longer and longer periods; and, most importantly…
• the cake in the college Common Room has been excellent!

Start of Term

Tomorrow is the first day of term for Rich. I think we’re as ready as we can be and are excited to get started. It has been really nice to have a few weeks together after Rich finished work in the middle of August in order to spend some time as a family and to get settled in Nottingham.

There are 2 induction weeks at the start of term with lectures that will be introducing the courses and what’s involved. Spouses are welcome to attend any of the lectures at college (and even sit the exams at the end of the year for a reduced fee if they wish!). There are some introduction lectures in these 2 weeks which specifically welcome spouses to attend so they too can find out what this year is going to be like and what support and training is available for them. It’s also a chance to meet other students and college staff. My intention is to attend as many of those lectures as possible so I have a better idea of what this year involves.

The college has a nursery on site that we have booked Nathan in to for Monday and Tuesday mornings. I have mixed feelings about this as it will be the first time we have left Nathan with people who are not family for a few hours, but I know that he will be very well looked after. And because the nursery is on site we can pop in whenever we like, which means if I am worried about him tomorrow I can go and see that he is ok. It also means I can go to the nursery to breastfeed him and come away again. It’s an ideal situation really.

Tomorrow’s lectures include a welcome, meet the tutors and formation groups. We can tell you more about what these formation groups are after tomorrow! Tuesday morning includes introductions to the spirituality program, prayer ministry and spiritual journey.

We would appreciate your prayers this week as we get to grips with what Rich’s courses will involve, for Rich as he returns to being a student, for me as I work out how to best support him in this, and for us as we work out how to manage our time in this new situation.

Church – the same but different

The Church of England is a strange beast.  It incorporates many varied groups of people and worship styles.  That’s one of the reasons why we’re often viewed negatively in the media, because we have people who disagree about things like the roles of women in church and homosexuality, so we have long debates that often seem to go nowhere.  A vicar I know recently told me that the Church can only move forward at the speed of its slowest member – I’m not sure I can agree with that (after all, there are some members of our Church who have no intention of moving!), but I think I know what he meant.  However, I believe it is a real strength of the Church that we can hold together (however loosely) such a diverse collection of congregations and individuals.

Of course, what I have just written means that finding a new church when you move to a new city is not necessarily as straightforward as rocking up to the front door of the local Anglican Church.  Otherwise, you may find yourself moving to a church with a very different tradition from what you know.  For more information on traditions within the Church of England, check out the section called “A comprehensive Church” on this page.

On arriving in Nottingham, Jenny, Nathan and I have been fortunate to find a church where we feel very welcome (within minutes of our house and, I dare say, walking distance, if we can get our act together one Sunday!).  We’ve already mentioned Christ Church, Chilwell in earlier posts.  But this morning, I found myself challenged by the 10:45am service, precisely because it was different from what I have previously experienced.

On our first two visits, the services we attended were non-Eucharistic (non-communion, or “A service of the word” as they might be described elsewhere).  This morning, the service included communion, so we gathered to share the bread and wine.  But the big difference for me was that we did this at the START of the service!  I later found out that this was new for the church too – they are exploring how they worship and the 10:45am service is very much geared around the children’s groups, so the idea today was that the children could remain in the service until after we had all received communion and then leave for their groups.  This meant that the group leaders had a little more felixibility around when their sessions ended and didn’t have to stop an activity halfway through so that the children could be rushed back in to receive communion (or a blessing).  As a former member of the Worship & Ministry team at my sending church, I can imagine the strong arguments for and against this service style if someone had suggested it!

In addition to the obvious change, there was no confession and we had no reading of scripture until after communion either.  At no point did we share ‘The Peace’, but we were encouraged to turn to our neighbours and greet them when the service started.  Liturgical language was kept to a minimum.  All told, it was the same Church of England, but it was also a very different church!

I surprised myself with how much this arrangement of the service threw me (particularly, I worried that it wasn’t legal!!!).  In fact, it threw me so much that I have been searching through two books this afternoon, to get my head around it.  The first is an obvious starting point – Common Worship: Services and prayers for the Church of England. It is the primary worship and service book for the Church.  The second would be less well-known, but I have found it invaluable – Finding your way around Common Worship by Mark Earey.  I would strongly recommend it to anyone who has a role in preparing or leading services within their church, being an easy read and making Common Worship much easier to understand.  I think I have finally reassured myself that the service was within the rules of the Church (although I wouldn’t be surprised if other people took a different view), but I’m still trying to get to grips with how I felt about the service style.  I suppose I’m going to have to get used to the fact that whenever I attend a service over the next two years, I will be worshipping but also learning and reflecting.  The joys of being an ordinand!